im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
