Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
