Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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