I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
