and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
