the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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