Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
