I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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