I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't deserve a penis
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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