I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
