Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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