Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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