that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Randomize
