my shit smells like andre
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
