You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
