Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
