Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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