just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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