the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
