I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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