my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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