dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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