What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
