You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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