i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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