I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she peed on how many people?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
