Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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