the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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