When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize