im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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