I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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