Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
