Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
