He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you will always have a special place in my vag
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
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