none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
