You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
