Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
