in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
