You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
