is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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