two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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