You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
