i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Life is so much better after having sex.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
