No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
