well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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