That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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