I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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