No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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