Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard