Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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