I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
