dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
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I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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