I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
