I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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