shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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