I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The power of my boobs compel you
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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