Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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