I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
